As I looked around the room that held thousands of other women, something struck me. I realized how often we as women define ourselves by our roles. I saw pregnant women and realized I wasn't in that group anymore. I saw young mothers with their babies, and I wasn't in that group either. I felt like I was in a strange in-between group, and nobody else was there with me.
Thankfully, this conference was about crying out to God, and I have gotten very good at that. So cry out I did. I cried out to him to help me find my identity in Christ and Christ alone. I cried out to him because I'll never get to go to a woman's conference with my daughter the way my mother and I did. I cried out to him, comforted by the fact that he knows what it's like to lose a child. I cried out to him because I'm tired of crying. I cried out to him knowing he's working all things for my good, even when I don't see it. I cried out to him because I'm sad. I cried out to him, overwhelmed by his goodness.
The conference was put on by Revive Our Hearts. What a fitting name! I needed God to revive my heart with love for him, a hunger for his word, and a new perspective of approaching his throne of grace in prayer. He wants to hear from us. How amazing is that? Whether it's a prayer about the upcoming election or a prayer for the strength to get out of bed in the morning, God hears you, he hears me, and he cares.
Even as I write this, I know I'll need to be reminded of these truths tomorrow. This path that I'm on is three steps forward, one step back. It's only by the grace of God that I can take any steps forward at all.
Here's another giant THANK YOU to everyone for the cards, flowers, prayers, and kind words. The high school boys' soccer team that my husband coaches planted a beautiful rose bush at my parents' house in Charlotte's memory. The amazing gestures of kindness from young people has been so humbling.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
